Like for so many of us, it’s been a year of sorting, honing, tossing, and making. Here is something I made. Press play and take a listen!
there is a stain
it can’t be seen
and there are rocks
they keep moving
you spin around
making new shapes
the air is hot
you trace your brain
but there is heart
and there is mind
and there is love
some of the time
there was a place
you knew yourself
your winking eye
and then they came
the had their rules
you fought but still
they got you schooled
the shook your heart
they hooked your mind
a twisted love
built upon lies
do buh do buh do...
I know for sure
not much again
except the sand
it keeps falling
you’re hoping still
there’s something new
could it be hidden
in your plain view
a little heart
a little mind
a little love
some of the time
some of the time
some of the time
returned from N.Y.
I gather strength
to share some pics
to let you know
I am warm and
alive and even
eager to move forward
we begin again
the corner we turned is still near
but the call
I’m ending this bizarre year with acting work: a commercial and a short film. Both were so much fun – albeit quite surreal, given all of the COVID precautions. I took four tests last week to ensure my health for both projects. I’m extremely happy to be working with safe and kind humans. And I’m so grateful to be healthy and creatively engaged with others. Here’s to more of it – ideally without the need for masks, eventually.
Stay safe, my friends. And do what is necessary to be close to what you love, whatever that may be.
I hope this finds you healthy and managing as well as can be expected in these complicated times. I heard something recently from creatrix and muse, Beth Lapides: “Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s bad.”
I love this very much and I offer it to you. These are confounding times. Everyone I know is being forced to dig deeper, to listen more closely, to consider what really matters, both personally and collectively. It’s not comfortable. But just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s bad. This gives me some solace and I hope it does for you too.
In acting news, “Premenstrual Margot” will be at the Newport Film Festival in August as part of the collegiate showcase as well as the Women’s Film Festival in Brattleboro, Vermont (in its 29th year!) in September, and the Skyline Indie Film Festival, also in September. More on that to come.
Finally, here are some new headshots I got earlier in the year before the great unraveling. It feels like a lifetime ago, but it was just a few months. Enjoy!
Well, yesterday I submitted my nominations for the upcoming SAG Awards. So many remarkable shows and films to watch and reflect on….what a treat it’s been to be on the nominating committee this year!
It’s been an intense few months, between screenings, acting, teaching and helping my husband with a nourishing new venture. More on that to come! I gave my final exam this morning, so I’m ever so gently starting to recalibrate. Hallelujah, for reals.
Here are some images from some of that, in no particular order.
As we come to the end of this year and decade (!), I feel extra aware of this precious life. Everything is so tender, so fleeting. We must be kind: to ourselves and each other…it feels so imperative now.
So here’s to life – to learning and celebrating all of it.
Last month was the premiere of “Premenstrual Margot” at Chapman’s Folio Theater. It was a great night, reconnecting with cast and crew, watching the other splendid films of the evening, and making new friends. Enjoy some behind the scenes shots in this post!
In other news, it’s been a time of recovery for my DH who had knee surgery nearly two months ago. Neither of us anticipated what this process would take, but finally things seem to be stabilizing. And of course, it’s like the universe knows I’ve been in caretaker mode these last number of weeks, so things have been rather gentle acting-wise. 😉
All of this, and I mean all of this has been fueling a fresh consciousness awakening, a cellular homecoming that feels like everything.
So here’s to divine timing. The waiting in the wings that you are savoring because somewhere inside, you know it means everything. This moment. That moment. The shadows that give way to the light. The bubbling that gives way to stillness. And it’s all a dance. All one big surrender.
ok, now i’m fine
these aren’t my glasses, but now they are and they’re amazing! with Giselle Torres
For me, early March is one of those liminal times — not quite winter anymore, yet not quite spring yet either. I’ve been loving dressing for these in between times — thoughtfully choosing the items that, together, signal this threshold time.
Speaking of cusps, In February I filmed a short that had the craziest coincidences of cusps that I’ve ever been a part of (to my knowledge anyhow). I was born on the Libra – Scorpio cusp, my screen son on the Scorpio – Saggitarius cusp, and my screen husband on the Sagittarius – Capricorn cusp! And not only that, our director was born on the Aires – Taurus cusp!! I love these synchronicities. And, of course, we all got along splendidly.
Enjoys the scenery as it changes!
Make the Call
my cuspy family ~ led by Eris Zhao w/ Stephen R. Peluso & Matthew Odette!
As actors, it can sometimes be hard to say goodbye to the characters we play. Especially when they land in a sweet spot of our psyches. Such was the case with Janine. Janine, the fun, cool mom to the titular “Premenstrual Margot” played by the marvelous Giselle Torres.
One of the visual details of the role was red accents: in wardrobe, accessories and fingernails. I never wear red nails. But Janine did. Always.
So when I was done with my filming, and a day later I had an audition for a decidedly non-red-polish-working-class-single-mom in the Middle East, the red needed to go.
Initially, it felt brutal – like prying off Janine in such a heartless, dismissive manner. Wiping her away, just like that.
How can I make this kinder, I thought? Or is it the same as removing the discreet clear tape that holds that tiny microphone to one’s bare skin while filming? Often it’s better to pull it off fast….like a band-aid. Heavy sigh.
What to do?
After some hand-wringing and stomach churning journaling, finally I came up with this:
I love you Janine. Thank you, Janine.
But now I must remove the polish.
Wishing us all grace and ease as we let go into this new season.
happy mothers day to all the mothers
the learning to mother
the confused mothers
the blossoming mothers
the care-taking magicians
the tired ones
the eager to mothers
the dreaming of mothers
would be mothers
not to be mothers
determined to mother mothers
they did the best they could mothers
the accidental mothers
the conflicted mothers
the mothers who are afraid
the struggling mothers
the mother dreamers
the seeking balance and liberation mothers
desperate to love and be loved mothers
and then there is the GREAT MOTHER inside
free from any story or particulars
pure, ordinary, unnamed mother
may we know this infinite mother
relax into that wide expanse
of presence and mercy
the deep deep care
that can also have the lightest touch
all of the pieces are fair game
may we re-member this fierce whisper of kindness/inclusion
in our bones
in our breath
again and again